“I never thought it would happen to me. I always thought, ‘No way. Not him. Not me. Not us.’ I never wanted to call it what it was… Abuse.”
– Dr. Ramona
It is hard to imagine someone with a Doctorate in Psychology, a flourishing counseling practice, experience in both TV and radio, to have hidden in a different state with her children, worn sunglasses on a rainy day to her child’s field trip and often used turtlenecks to hide choke marks. Most people would not believe this could be the same person. I am that person.
I’m Dr. Ramona, a personal overcomer of domestic violence and the author of Healing Well and Living Free from an Abusive Relationship . As a Marriage and Family Therapist, a Certified Domestic Violence Counselor and a Nationally Certified Counselor, I teach people across the country on how to not only heal, but heal well from the trauma that an abusive relationship causes.
I know firsthand how destructive an abusive relationship can be. Regardless if your experience involves verbal, physical, emotional, financial, sexual and/or spiritual abuse, the abuse will always get worse overtime. Abuse never plateaus. It escalates often leaving you just a shell of the person you once were.
The emotional scars can seem inconceivable to heal from. But the fact is, surviving an abusive relationship is no guarantee you will not experience another one. Changing your partner will never change your life. Changing yourself will. It is only by intentionally taking proven steps to heal well that we can eventually live free…Abuse free.
What I’ve discovered is that healing well is the precursor to living free.
As a woman of deep faith, I believe we were created for freedom. It is my hope that by sharing my story, I can encourage you or someone you love who is in an abusive relationship to pursue genuine healing and lasting freedom. So that one day soon, we might all move from victim to survivor to overcomer!
NOTE: I recognize and fully acknowledge that abuse takes place in all sorts of relationships. My heart breaks for all victims. However, because the majority of abusers are male and the majority of victims are female (of domestic violence victims, 85% are female and 15% are male [Source: Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief, Intimate Partner Violence]), I have utilized the pronouns “she” to represent the victim, and “he” to represent an abuser throughout the pages on this website. I may also, at times, utilize “their.” This is not meant to disregard the pain experienced in other contexts, it is merely a way to communicate with clarity. To learn more about the truth of domestic violence or explore resources, click here.