• Promises to change
  • Enters therapy or abusers’ program
  • Stops drinking/attends AA
  • Apologizes
  • Says no one else will want you
  • Says you’re abandoning him
  • Threatens to kidnap/take custody of the children
  • Threatens to withhold finances
  • Acts nice
  • Persuades others to pressure you, giving him another chance
  • Threatens suicide
  • Spreads rumors or your confidential information
  • Starts a relationship/affair to upset you
  • Insists he’s changed
  • Threatens or assaults anyone helping you or starting a relationship with you
  • Gets you pregnant
  • Stalks you
  • Physically/sexually assaults you
  • Destroys property
  • Threatens to harm or kill you

 

The above material was adapted from Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men: Pgs. 213-214, ©2002 Berkley Books, New York, NY